INSIGHTS
MAY 2015

Dear Friend: 

In my last newsletter to you I told you that I thought I was going to have to probably undergo some surgery. Well, I did have to have surgery - in fact, I had two abdominal surgeries and one dental surgery. I've been hiding from the world for the past week because my face has been so swollen from the dental work.

I know that it seems as though I'm going through a period of being more ill than usual. However, the good thing is that after many years of varying and often wrong diagnoses of my symptoms, I have finally found doctors who accurately diagnosed the cause of my discomfort and are taking care of it, so I'm going to be able to feel like an actual lively human being again. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm seeing rapid improvement. In fact, I'm starting to feel well enough to read some of my emails, and I'm delighted to be able to write this newsletter to you - I have really missed communicating with you!

During one of my little surgical bouts, I actually had the near-death experience again when my heart stopped. I'm the only person I know who has died twice and is still alive! However, that experience was a true gift to me. I was brought to a place where I had to make a choice to stay or go. I was required to view and evaluate every part of my life - my work, my relationships, and my Spiritual path. When I left my body, I traveled for a distance through a warm, lovely darkness and then suddenly emerged into a space that was filled with brilliant light. I didn't see anyone, but I heard a man's voice say, "Our Father is pleased in you", which made me very happy. Then, I went through a series of experiences in which I was required to view a countless number of interactions I've had with other people and shown how my interaction with those people had affected or influenced their lives; and how it affected me - whether or not it had improved or detracted from the quality of my being and whether or not it had been helpful or hurtful for them.

Some of the experiences left me feeling joyful, and others left me feeling ashamed and anxious, knowing that I had to do something to improve that situation or to strive to somehow "make it better". I was shown how I evidently frequently speak words that I think and intend to be loving and helpful for the other person but that are received sometimes as critical or condescending. I was shown that it's not the words that count but the tone of my voice, and that when I am tired or feeling ill or pain-filled, my voice takes on a tone that others can interpret as being unkind. I have been somewhat aware of this but never aware to the extent that I was as I stood in that bright space. The knowing of it filled me with deep emotion, and a powerful knowing that I must remain here to continue to aid people, to improve and refine my own being, and to teach what I learn from the trials that life sends me. I know that I haven't finished what I came to do and I know that I need to make right that which is not right as a result of misunderstandings and my having been inner focused on my own discomfort to the extent that I was unaware of another person's pain.

I came into this life with the intention and I feel the responsibility to be a person who truly "sees" others and who offers compassion to all situations, knowing with every bit of my being that every person is doing the best they can do with whatever they have to work with. Having that understanding has aided me through my entire life, and now as I come to the place where I'm near the end, I find that I am being influenced by the energies of this time much more than I ever have been in the past even though I totally understand those energies and know that it is my task to remain in control of my state of mind and of the quality of the energy that flows through me to others. I knew, for instance, that we would be entering a powerful intensification in mid-February and that it would be continuing into the late Spring. I had seen all of those aspects and had discussed some of them with you. However, knowing about something doesn't always make it easier to deal with it, because when a situation enters our life, if we haven't been thinking about it, and preparing for it, it broadsides us. We're thrown out of balance and we react immediately from that out-of-control, out-of-balance energy.

On the 11th of February we ended an internalized intensification cycle and moved the very next day into a powerful externalization cycle. Then on top of these internalization and externalization cycles, we started and continued until April 27 in an energy cycle that can only be called a powerful, disruptive force that has affected the entire world. When I see it from my perspective, I'm seeing these layers of energy all affecting each other, and then the culmination of their effects upon the world, and then how those energies affect us individually. We have been through one of the most difficult times that I have ever seen, and as I focus forward into the year's calendar, I'm seeing more of this type of layered intensification coming up.

I really need to be clear with you that these cycles don't make you be or do anything. However, if a person is feeling powerless or anxiety-filled when a cycle begins, then those feelings may naturally magnify into out-of-control terror and rage. Powerlessness becomes rage because when we feel backed into a corner by life, we have only two choices: either lie down and accept what we think is, or come out fighting. The more evolved souls want to assess the situation, to think about it, to analyze it, and for the most part have done so during this time. However, even the most evolved souls I know have exploded with rage during these past few months and then of course those of us who are more evolved feel guilty because we feel that we "should" always be in control of our emotions and that we "should" always respond to any situation in a manner that is gracious and that offers consideration to the other person's state of being. Younger souls don't feel ashamed of having rage-filled outbursts. They like the feeling of rage because it makes them feel powerful. They feel proud because they have "reclaimed their sense of power".

We have been aghast as we have watched all the horrifying results of these building energies over the past few years to the extent that we are at war world-wide, watching people suffer horrible deaths on television; and yet trying to maintain our lives as though everything is still the same, as though everything is normal. We know it's all happening and that we have a Spiritual responsibility to offer ourselves somehow in some way to bring comfort, ease, healing - whatever it is that we have to offer - to those who are suffering. Some of us feel greatly called to find a way to aid those who suffer, and others simply want to pretend that it isn't happening and will even become angry with you if you try to talk with them about it. They don't want to hear "anything negative". Some want to fight the evil they see manifest in this world. Others want to befriend it, believing that their kindness will make it be nice. Even a cursive study of world history will show us that appeasement never truly befriends evil. It never deters it or in any way changes it, except that it might actually strengthen it. Almost all religions exhort their followers to combat evil. The one real mistake that many are making is that they want to pretend that it doesn't exist and refuse to recognize that that which intends their demise is akin to courting a death wish. It's very much like refusing to admit the existence of an out-of-control truck that is careening towards you, thinking that if you deny its existence, it will somehow just go away. Or, if you be nice to it, it will change its mind and decide not to run over you.

The true danger in this time is the division between people of various cultures and religions. The real danger is not those who are striving for world power. It is that those who are the target of the ego-driven offender are divided and fighting among themselves and have become weakened so that the "war" is being won by the old adage of "divide and conquer". People are spending more time arguing about whether or not it is "nice or bad" or whether or not we should "love it or fight it", and anyone who thinks differently than any other person is labeled stupid or racist or any kind of word that might mean "less than" and pushed away..... when we all need to be gathering close together and standing strong in unity. We are in a time of change in which there will be a complete breakdown of all the supportive structures in this world, and it could go either way right now. The one way that it could be overcome is for all the people of this world who are viewed as "the enemy" of the power-seeking force must come together in harmony and mutual respect. I've been talking about this for a long time - we have reached a time where it is imperative that this must happen or we will face terrible consequences.

I believe that in this time, it is very important for everyone to be aware - to stay informed - to know what is going on, because we need to know how far away the storm is as it approaches , and we need to make preparations for that storm so that we can go through it with the least amount of discomfort, so that we will not be worrying about how to find our next meal or shelter but can use our energies in that time to help others who are worrying about where they might find their next meal or shelter. And in this time, it would benefit all of us to learn as much as possible about tending wounds, about the needs of the human body, about healing.

I saw so much as I was in that bright space, waiting to either completely pass over or to get back into my body. There were so many things I saw that I can't explain, but yet know what they mean, and there were so many things that I learned that I want to share with others, but I'm having difficulty finding the words to define or express those things. The one thing that I came back to my body with, knowing completely again, is that Spirit IS and that Spirit is one hundred percent invested in our experiences in this place, and that we have responsibilities, depending on the level of our soul evolvement, just as in this dimension adults carry more responsibility than do children. We have the responsibility to offer the best of our being to this time, and the most important thing that we can be and offer is caring, compassion and awareness.

Have you ever felt so alone and so filled with need that you couldn't express it and while there were a lot of people around you who thought they were helping you, who wanted to help you, they couldn't help you because they couldn't see what your need was? So they would do kind things and say kind things, and you needed just one thing - maybe to be left alone, or maybe have someone just hear you and offer a word or an action that evidenced compassion and support for your feelings or your "knowings".

There are few things in our lives that bring us to a state of intense loneliness as much as not being heard, as much as not being seen, as much as having people say, "I'm here for you, whatever you need", and knowing that they're not really there for you because they can't be there for you, because you can't even get them to understand what you need no matter how many times or how many ways you try to tell them or show them. So many are feeling devastatingly lonely and terrified in that loneliness. If you are one of those people who is feeling lonely, you probably haven't been able to understand why you can't get your loved ones to see or hear you when you try to tell them what is important to you. In fact, very often people will make a joke or laugh when you try to express your feelings. Some will even become angry or frustrated with you, saying "I don't want to hear this again!" But you are compelled to say it again and again, because no matter how many times you've said it, you haven't ever been heard. 

We can't really feel loved when our hearts are raw with pain, and no one wants us to tell them about it. This happens mostly with very evolved souls, because it is your purpose to be "the strong one" into whom others can lean. You are the caregiver. It's your job to be there for them. If they hear that you are fragile, they become frightened. They don't want to hear that you are suffering pain or fear or even loneliness. They need you to be strong so they won't have to be afraid.

The more evolved you are as a soul, the harder it is for you to express your own needs, because you have a deep inner "knowing" that you are here in this place to offer yourself to the needs of others and that their needs are important and you shouldn't "bother" them with yours. Well, I want you to understand that you're telling yourself a lie. Yes, you are here to help others and your needs are as important as their needs, and if you get used up to the extent that you are filled with despair and have no energy left to give, then you can't fulfill your purpose. You must feed yourself. You must keep yourself emotionally and physically healthy to the best of your ability. You must have at least one person in your life who hears you and sees you, one person who "gets you". If one person doesn't hear you, keep looking until you find someone who does hear you because it is so important that you have someone in your life who recognizes who you are, who values who you are, and who supports you in being who you are. 

We all need to share our life path with someone who "gets us", whether that be a mate or a friend, a child or parent - it doesn't matter what the relationship is - it just matters that we have someone. And when we have someone, we feel fulfilled and we feel stronger and have more energy, both physically and emotionally. When we have someone, we are better able to be and de that which we came to be and do.

If you look at the calendar on this site, you see that we begin to enter another internalization cycle on May 4th (light blue line), signifying a build-up to the full on internalization cycle which hits us on May 18th (blue line). And then you'll see a pink line that begins on May 14th, signifying the beginning of a build-up to a powerful externalization cycle, which always magnifies a hundred times over whatever energy we are already experiencing. So because we're already in an internalized cycle, the force of that internalization will begin to be magnified on the 14th and it will really, really hit us when we begin the externalization cycle (the red line) on May 28th. (You might want to re-read the information on this site about these cycles and how they work, because we are going to be powerfully affected by them throughout the rest of this year and beyond.)

It's very important as we enter the internalization cycle to start a project or something that we can put our attention to so that we feel productive during the internalization. My tendency, for instance, would be to take on a project of organizing closets and drawers, or catching up on my filing. But your project doesn't have to be a work project. It can be a project in which you decide that you're going to spend time with your children, that you're going to take them to the lake or the park, or for drives or dinner so that you can spend quality time together. I intend during this next internalization cycle to offer more of my time and presence to my dear friends. I have seriously neglected my friendships and my loving family as I have gone through this prolonged illness to the extent that I think some of them may be unhappy with me. When we are internalized, we tend to pull into ourselves. Others often feel that we are purposely avoiding them, that we are pulling away. They feel abandoned by us. It is important for us to schedule time for ourselves to be alone during the internalization, but it is also important that we schedule time where we reach out, even if it is only sending a little card or email that says "thank you for being in my life."

I can't begin to stress how important it is for us to strengthen our relationships in this time. That was one of the things that I was shown very powerfully as I was in my "near-death experience". When I returned to my body, I had tears pouring from my eyes in sadness because I realized that I hadn't really been there in any way for those whom I love the most. My mind tells me that I wasn't able to be, that I just didn't have anything in me that could make me read emails or even talk on the phone - it just takes so much energy to be when we are as ill as I was. Regardless of what is happening in our lives in this time, we are being urged by Spirit to solidify our relationships with those whom we love and to rebuild the foundations if necessary. I would recommend that you give some consideration to perhaps putting together a family reunion or a reunion of old friends, bringing people who have distanced from each other back together and back to you.

This next intensification doesn't have the rage-filled foundation that the last one had. However, we are still very emotionally and even physically fragile. We don't have as much vitality as we've had before. We're feeling tired a lot of the time. Being in that kind of prolonged intensification will do that to us all! So I'm going to really, really ask you to give yourself time to be alone - to heal, to read a good book, to work a jigsaw puzzle - I don't care what it is, just take time to be alone with you. And then, after you have let yourself fill, reach out and offer your strong and loving presence to another.

I'm not going to make specific predictions here but rather general ones because it's just more of the same. We're going to be seeing more large earthquakes such as just happened in Nepal. The war is going to continue to escalate. We're in a year in which we already are having and must continue to expect outrageous fires. The Midwest is going to be experiencing some unusual and very dramatic rainstorms, which can cause problems for some crops but ultimately will be good for them because it will restore some of their long-needed water reservoirs. And finally, everyone is being touched by the death or loss of someone in this time, whether it be friends, family members, or well-known people who strongly influenced our lives.

I want to thank you all for the kind and loving emails, cards and letters you've sent me during my illness. They really, really touched my heart. It meant so much to me to receive them. I am so grateful for the many prayers that you have offered to me. I truly believe that my rather amazing recovery is the result of those prayers and all that wonderful, loving energy that was sent my way. I am planning to and truly hope to be able to begin to make these newsletters and calendars a monthly event again, starting now. If you don't see a newsletter posted, it just means that something else came up with my health, but as it is right now, I really think that I'm very close to being fully healed. I plan to live my life as fully and completely as possible and to experience as much as possible in this time and to bring my loved ones as close as possible to me so that I can be nourished by them and so that I can offer nourishment to them and I'm asking you to do the same thing so that your life may be filled with happiness and with the strength and power that comes with being united with others who "get you".

You know.....it really IS "all about Love"     

Stay Focused on the Light....          

Dixie Yeterian 

PS: I have been pushed by my Guidance ever since I dictated my newsletter to Marty to add these three paragraphs to this month's newsletter

When I meditate in order to perceive the energy and events happening in the world today and that are likely to happen in the future, I almost always now am seeing symbols that mean "world change". Regardless of what area of life I'm looking to - whether I'm looking to see whether a businessman's ventures will be stable or successful, or whether or I am looking to see whether a humanitarian's efforts to accomplish peace and to help those whom he's striving to serve will continue to meet with success, the only thing that is constant now is change. And that is true in every part of this world, and it is true for every one of us.

My guidance, Samuel, has said to me in the past but is repeating strongly now: the more attached to another person being or becoming what we think they should be or become, the more fear and stress we will have in our lives. And the more we are attached to a situation being or becoming what we think it should be or become, the more stress and fear we will have in our lives. It's important to remember that fear is praying for what we don't want. The energy of fear attracts to us the very thing that we are fearful of, so the most important thing for us to do now is to strive to remain in a state of calm and peace and the best way to achieve the sense of calm and peace is to stay connected with Spirit, through prayer and/or meditation, or simply by living in a state of constant awareness that Spirit IS.....and that Spirit IS intimately involved in our lives and we can lean into it at any and all times for comfort and for strength.

Many people have been asking me "How long is this going to last?", meaning "How long is this world chaos going to last?" or "How long is the chaos in my life going to last?" The only absolutely correct response that I can give almost anyone is that we are in a time of change that will be wonderful when it comes to its end. However, change arises out of turmoil, and there isn't a particular amount of time that I could predict (although there are many seers and sages who have predicted that this present war will end in 2026 and that we will then enter into a long - perhaps 500 years? - period of peace). The truth is, when I'm asked how long it will last, this energy of change will last until humankind has seriously begun to let go of their hatreds, their prejudices, and their tendency to want to eradicate anything that is different from their way of being or believing. Astrologers will tell you that we are in the very infancy of the Aquarian Age. The Aquarian Age is the Age of Brotherhood. We are entering into the Age of Compassion, of Love....of realizing that each person is perfect in his/her way of being....of realizing that we absolutely love and honor the Spirit that exists in every man, but we will fight with all our might against any acts of violence or any acts that are intended to demean or diminish the value of any other person.