INSIGHTS
June 2015

Dear Friend: 

At all times humanity is experiencing events that give us opportunities to learn specific lessons. The predominant lesson during this year and most of next year is compassion. The lesson in compassion has been refined to the extent that it also becomes a lesson in judgmentalism, for we cannot be compassionate if we are judging or condemning.

This Universal lesson is evidencing itself in many ways. In our personal lives, we all are finding that even the least judgmental of us, the most compassionate of us, is spouting judgmental statements before we have a chance to even think. I have been shocked at myself, because I have truly believed that I held no prejudices (and we judge and condemn what we are prejudiced against) except for a long-held prejudice against people who take pleasure in being cruel to others, and I've worked really hard at overcoming that one. But recently, I have been appalled at hearing myself say some things that I really didn't know I still believed. It's amazing how things surface in us so that we're constantly discovering things about ourselves that we didn't know were still there, things we thought we'd overcome long ago.

The things that we are prejudiced against irritate us - they just rub us wrong. (We usually call these "pet peeves.") We are all striving to be mindful of the words we use. But when we have this kind of lesson in our lives, we're not in full control; and words, attitudes and beliefs will come pouring out of our mouths that we didn't even know were in us. I'm finding this time to be very personally enlightening (but also rather embarrassing and I have to admit, I become ashamed). The one I'm finding that I'm reacting to the most is people who don't honor their commitments and people who prefer to use others rather than striving to be self sufficient and others who judge people who don't believe as they do as being bad. See? I told you I had a few! The way I now know that I hold these prejudices is that instances of witnessing or experiencing such behavior in others really affects me.

I'll bet you thought prejudice was all about disliking other races or religions. Prejudice is actually about anything that we would judge or condemn another person for being or doing. For instance, there is no one who is more prejudiced against those who smoke than a non-smoker, and there is no one more prejudiced against people of another religion or who don't subscribe to any particular religion than a person recently converted to a religion.

We humans tend to judge and condemn anything or anyone who is different from us. We judge and condemn so that we can feel superior. And many need to feel superior because we're not liking ourselves very much at this time. So I guess the only way we know how to feel good about ourselves is to condemn someone who is different from us so that we can feel superior, and we feel really superior if we have worked to overcome whatever it is that we are condemning in another person. I don't believe attacking someone in judgment or condemnation helps anyone in any way. From personal experience, I've come to believe that as we leave our lives, we are shown everything about our experience and given the opportunity to realize where we have been lacking and where we have accomplished. I haven't been perfect in this life. However, on the two occasions when I was literally dead, I did not experience condemnation from the Spiritual forces that I so powerfully felt around me. I didn't feel judged at all. I felt great compassion, and even as I was being shown actions and attitudes that I had taken that filled me with shame, I didn't feel condemned by them - I felt condemned by myself.

I personally do not believe that we humans have the right to judge or condemn another person. The reason that I don't believe we have the right to judge or condemn them is that we really have no idea what that person has experienced or was experiencing that brought them to the place where they would act or be the way they are. How can we judge what we don't understand? I also don't believe in forgiveness. Does that sound crazy to you? I believe that what we need to do is strive to come to a state of understanding and accepting the other person for who and what they are. When we truly understand the motives or experiences behind any person's attitudes or actions, it's really hard to feel anything other than compassion for them. I have even come to feel compassion for the man who shot me. What a dark life he must have experienced to drive him into a career of murdering people!

Most of the things that we would condemn in another person are the result of their pain; or often are the result of their uninformed attempts to be accepted, to fit in, to be "part of". For instance, most kids start drinking or smoking because their friends are drinking and smoking, and they want to be accepted by their peers, so in order to be with them, they smoke and drink. That's the way they connect with each other. There are very few of us adults who haven't at some time in our lives behaved in a manner that we would now deem unacceptable. If we look deeply within ourselves, I think that we would all come to the realization that we acted in such a way either as an expression of our pain or in order to be loved. Most of what we do in this world results from a desire to be loved, to be liked, to be accepted.

And how can we condemn a person for being in pain or for wanting to be loved?

Whenever Spirit offers us an opportunity to learn, whatever the lesson is about (such as overcoming jealousy, prejudice, anger, regret, shame, etc.) always becomes magnified, bringing us opportunities to learn it and intensifying emotions about whatever the lesson entails. So even though we may think that we don't need that lesson (because we have totally learned it), we will be shocked to find ourselves acting in such a way that we have to realize that we hadn't entirely learned it.

When we humans become judgmental and condemning, we can be sooooo cruel. We dive into self righteousness and believe that a person deserves whatever hellish result he or she might experience. We become heartless. Condemnation makes us heartless. And what does Spirit ask us to be? Compassionate. It says, "Judge not lest ye be judged." It says, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." It says, "Love thy brother as you would love thyself." It is not for us to judge. It is not for us to tell another how he or she should behave or believe. We don't have the right to judge the quality of another man's soul, nor do we have the right to judge his relationship with God. When we stop judging, we will be able to be the compassionate souls we really want to be.

When we do experience true compassion, the feeling of it as it flows through us to another person is wonderful. Condemnation doesn't feel good to us or to anyone else. We might get an adrenaline rush from the judgment and from the self righteousness, and that might make us feel more energetic and excited - some people live off that feeling! They strive to be angry in order to feel the energy of self righteousness because it enlivens them, but it doesn't feel wonderful like compassion does.

If we are ever going to become a peace-filled, love-filled world, we must let go of our contempt for others and seek to understand and accept others as they are, knowing that they are perfect for who they are and for their particular level of evolvement.

Please don't misunderstand me here. I am not saying that people should not be held accountable for anti-social behavior, and I'm not saying that children shouldn't be lovingly punished when they behave badly, because the adult who is anti-social is the child who was never held accountable and so doesn't believe that they will ever be held to accountability. He or she generally was taught they could do anything and there would be no consequences. We do need to have consequences for behavior that is hurtful to or thoughtless of other people. Those who would desire to harm others need to be removed from society. Children who act inappropriately need to be reprimanded. They need to be taught that there are consequences for their behavior - they need to be held to accountability. 

All of us need to hold others to accountability. For instance, if you were a woman who was dating a man who made a date with you and then failed to show up, it would be really necessary for you to tell him that behavior is unacceptable, that if he wants to be with you, he needs to offer you the respect of either honoring a commitment or renegotiating it with you, but that you will not be with someone who dishonors you by simply not showing up. And for instance, if you were to see a person abusing another person, it would be your responsibility to strive to stop the abuse, to call them to accountability, if only to say, "Stop it! That's not OK!" Or maybe call the police. (Personally, I don't think I could stop from jumping them, because that is one of my pet peeves.)

You see, the first time we allow another person to dishonor us, we have given them permission to dishonor us from then on. Because we want to be "nice", many of us will put up with behaviors that are truly hurtful because we don't want to be complainers, but when we put up with behaviors that dishonor us, we are disrespecting ourselves and giving the message that we aren't deserving of respect. If we don't evidence self-respect, others will never respect us. I guess this is just another way of saying, whatever we are experiencing in our lives, we have created.....but that's another newsletter.

In last month's newsletter, I told you we had entered a year in which we began a cycle that continues until the middle of next year. So I'm repeating myself now, but I feel a need to in case you didn't read last month's newsletter. Through this entire year, we should expect people (including ourselves) to experience magnified emotions. Even the calmest, most gracious of us will experience frustrated anger. And those who are habitually angry are likely to find that anger escalating into violence. So on a personal level, we find that there are more outbursts, more arguments in our lives.....and on the universal level, as we view the news, we will realize that there are more family disputes that escalate into extreme violence, with the murder of loved ones (sometimes entire families). It's already begun in that the homicide rate is higher in the first six months of this year than it has ever been since the beginning of recorded history, and it will continue to be so as this energy builds.

Also, on a universal level we'll see more wars starting as well as escalation of those wars that are happening now. The aspects for the United States indicate violent race riots and an increase in terrorist activities. People are acting out with rioting and violence in the United States for two different reasons. The first reason is the emotional chaos that is building and building and causing a deep simmering rage that results from feelings of powerlessness and the belief that they are being victimized. Of course, our feeling hurt does not make it OK to hurt others, but young souls don't realize that. In fact, it makes them feel better to hurt someone else. It seems as if when someone else is hurting, their pain doesn't feel quite as intense.

The second reason for the increase in riots and public condemnation of others is that there are people who seek positions of power and who are striving to intensify the emotions of others, especially young souls, so that those people will follow them and by following them, help to elevate them to power.

Almost all of the socially unacceptable behavior that is happening at this time is the result of an almost universal rejection of submission to those whom we have traditionally believed should be offered respect, admiration, trust and obedience. So in this time, we are witnessing tremendous conflict between parents and children. Many children are defiantly disrespecting their parents, believing their parents to be stupid and even telling them so. Many people are in conflict with religious ideology. Fewer and fewer are attending churches, and so many people in this time are openly angry, hostile and defiant, having lost faith and believing that religious leaders are power-seeking hypocrites. And even more people are defiantly enraged with their governmental leaders. People are angry with their employers. So many are just walking away from jobs with nothing else to go to, because they can no longer bear to be answerable to their employer.

All change comes out of turmoil, and we are definitely in Universal Transition that's going to last for another eleven years. As I've said many times, this will all evolve to a state of peace, and all of this hatred will subside and we will come to a time where we are mutually respectful and honoring of each other. We will be able to experience compassion without having to try so hard to experience it (as we often do now). If you don't feel compassion then act it - because if you act it long enough you will begin to be it.

During this eighteen month cycle, we should be prepared for violent events, for extreme record-breaking weather throughout this time, for fires and floods that are also record-breaking. And, we should strive to prepare ourselves for the possibility of all of these things through storing water, food, medical supplies, etc. We really need to take up the practice of prayer, meditation, physical exercise, or whatever works for us so that we can maintain a calm inner peace, so that as these things happen, we can be the person who is centered and capable of helping others get through these events.

There's no way around it - we're going to be judged in this time, but being judged doesn't give us the right to hurt others with our judgmentalism. We as evolved souls have the responsibility to try to help others. We have the responsibility to strive to live our lives with impeccable integrity, to practice compassion, kindness, patience, and respect for others as well as self respect. And, if you don't feel compassionate, then act it.

Stay Focused on the Light....          

Dixie Yeterian