INSIGHTS
SePTEMBER 2009
Dear Friend:
I may seem to be repetitious, but the kinds of questions I hear from people make it apparent to me that I really do need to explain some of the things I’ve said in the past a little more clearly. So, at this time it feels to me that I need to explain that we are living in a time of tremendous world-wide transition. The energies of this time are dramatic and intense, and we all respond to them in different ways, depending on our state of mind or our evolvement of soul. As we experience these intensifications, most of us tend to respond with fear. Almost everyone in this time is experiencing free-floating anxiety. Some are acting out their fear with aggression. Any person or state of being that appears to be different than their situation or state of being inspires contempt in them. They use contempt to overcome their fear – to help them feel more than, bigger than, stronger than, better than that which they fear. They swagger through life wearing an attitude and an expression that says to the world, “You’d better fear me because I’m going to take what I need or want, and if you happen to be in the way, or if you happen to give me a glance or speak to me with a tone that seems disrespectful, you will suffer my wrath.” Others simply shut down and go into a state of emotional immobilization. They just stop trying. They feel so powerless that they just want someone or something to provide to their survival needs and to respond to their feelings of powerlessness to the extent that they would be pitied rather than asked to accomplish.
Of course, what I’ve described above are the most extreme reactions to the intensifications. We’re seeing it manifest in the proliferation of extremist organizations in this time as well as in the increasing number of people who are on welfare or being supported by family, friends. We are all experiencing these responses to one degree or another. Most of us find ourselves just bouncing back and forth between high and low energy, one minute feeling that we have the world by its tail and that we can accomplish anything and everything, and the next minute feeling so terrified, exhausted and overwhelmed that we just want to crawl into bed and pull the blankets up over our heads.
As these energies escalate, all of us are finding that we are more likely to become impatient. Even the most patient and/or compassionate souls will find that they are much more easily irritated than ever before. I hear people saying things like “I just don’t have time for the crap.” Or, “I’m not going to waste my time with games or manipulation.” Or, “I feel ashamed that I seem to have lost all compassion.” We all have within us the knowing that something very important, very powerful, is happening in the world and in our beings
As individuals, we are experiencing these intensifications and having these kinds of responses or reactions to these energies, and in the collective, we are having the same kinds of reactions and responses, which is being acted out as violence, unrest, and worldwide embattlement…..and which Mother Earth is reacting to with powerful storms and earthquakes, and with enormous fires, floods and volcanoes.
So you’re probably going to just groan out loud when I tell you now that the focus of this month is on learning to overcome judgmentalism, criticism, and condemnation. This particular lesson is a double-edged sword. In the midst of it, others may tell us (or we may realize) that we are being critical and/or condemning; Or, on the other side, we may realize that we have been submitting to criticism, and condemnation. Either way, these lessons having to do with judgment, criticism, and condemnation actually began to escalate in July, and now, in September, they’ve come on full-force. This is a BIG one.
In all of the years I’ve been doing this work, every time I’ve seen this lesson, relationships have been seriously challenged. If we’ve been taking a passive role and allowing ourselves to be abused by another’s critical or condemning nature, when this energy hits, our souls compel us to rebel…..to stand strong and straight and say, “I’m damned well not going to take this anymore!” If we are the person who has been coping with our fear through fault-finding and/or condemnation, we are called to accountability….and being called to accountability can really hurt.
In truth, all of this is simply about Spirit asking us to strive to recognize the value of others with whom we’ve chosen to interact in this life, and to bring gratitude, joy, and harmony into those relationships. Sounds pretty simple, doesn’t it? It’s easy for us to believe that we are victims when we come to the realization that we have been submitting to another’s lack of respect. However, it’s very important for us to remember that whatever is in our life, we chose, and to remember that we teach people how to treat us. When we first meet others, we usually assess them carefully in order to know what it is that is important to them; and then in order to be liked, loved, and/or respected by them, we pretend to BE whatever it is that is important to them. Now c’mon….you know it’s true. Whenever you’re in the presence of a person who appears to be very proper, you clean up your language and act “more proper” in order to be accepted/liked/loved/respected by them. If it becomes apparent to you that a person values intelligence or knowledge, you try harder to act intelligent and knowledgeable. If the person whose love, respect or liking you want puts great value on beauty, you’re going to spend more time standing before your mirror before you go to meet them for lunch than you would spend before the mirror if you were meeting your friend who is very relaxed and natural in their response to life. If they value order and cleanliness, you’re going to clean and de-clutter your house before they visit.
Most of us go through life pretending to be what we think other people want us to be, and as a result, we develop an inner belief that we are fraudulent and may even live with a terror that if they actually knew who we really were – if they ever saw the real us – that they would be appalled….that they certainly wouldn’t love us – they probably wouldn’t even like us.
You see, we have these illusions about the way things should be, about what different relationships should look like. We all have certain ideals about how our lovers/mates/children/parents/friends should act and be. When we first meet them, we project our illusions upon them, surrounding them with our illusions and telling them how wonderful they are because they look like our illusions. But then gradually, as time passes, our illusions fade, and there we are, in relationship, with that real person who no longer looks like our illusion, and it just makes us mad. So, we start harping on them...trying to get them to change, trying to get them to become the illusion that we had once so successfully projected on them…..trying to get them to be our ideals. Most of our unhappiness in this world is caused by us wanting another person to be different than they are; or by our striving to be loveable by pretending to be something different than we are. You see, when we pretend to be something other than we really are in order to be liked/loved/accepted/respected by another, we can never feel that we are truly liked/loved/accepted/respected, because they aren’t liking or loving us– they’re liking or loving that which we are pretending to be. So all of this fraudulent behavior simply adds to our belief that we are truly unlovable or not worthy of respect. And when we are asking someone to be different so that we can be comfortable or happy, what we are truly telling them is that we don’t want them – but that we want someone different.
So, this lesson goes straight to the core of all of our relationships. In truth, it demands honesty from us. It demands that we be who we are in all of our relationships so that we can know that if someone loves, likes or respects us, that they are loving/liking/respecting us, not that which we have been pretending to be. And if we are finding fault in others – criticizing or condemning – then we need to realize that we have chosen to be in relationship with them because they are offering to specific needs in us (as I discussed in July’s newsletter), and to seek to recognize, value and validate the offerings they make to us.
The only person in this world that we have the right to demand change from/of is ourselves. In fact, it is our responsibility to be constantly assessing ourselves and striving to improve the quality of our beings. The way other people are acting or being is simply their response to life, and their way of being will change as they experience life and grow through it.
You see, our power to condemn is the most lethal weapon in this world. Guns, knives, bombs, etc. might destroy the flesh, but cruel words pierce the Soul, and the damage done can affect us for lifetimes. People don’t change because other people think they should. Life is a process of change. We change as the result of having life experiences, learning from them, and growing through them. If you do desire that a person change and you want to help them, then I would recommend that you keep reminding yourself that you can’t lift a person up by pushing them down. Demeaning or condemning a person is not going to have the effect of improving them. In fact, they most likely will resort to passive aggression, struggling to find and/or maintain some sense of power in opposition to the assault they feel from you. If you desire that someone learn to be kind, then treat them kindly and give them praise for any act of kindness that you witness in them. When they receive the praise, it makes them want to be kind in order to be able to be valued by you.
All of us during this time are going to find ourselves being critical, probably more so than usual because there’s a tremendous light of realization that is shining upon this particular state of being in this time. I recommend that when you find yourself being critical, that you pause and ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” It’s important to remember in this time that judgment, criticism and condemnation arise out of fear. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling critical, but seek out the fear that lies beneath it. Once we understand and address the fear, the need to criticize or condemn will just dissolve.
On the other hand, if you realize that you have been submitting to condemnation and devaluation, then your soul will compel you in this time to stand strong for your own value. In order to come to know our own value, we must live authentically. We must cease pretending to be something other than we are so that we know we are constantly projecting our true state of being into our relationships. If we learn to live authentically, we attract people into our lives who value who we are. As long as we’re pretending to be something other than we are, there will be people in our lives who will be angry with us, who feel betrayed by us, because we have given them evidence that we are not that which they originally perceived and needed us to be.
At this point, I think it’s important that I clearly differentiate between judgment and prejudice. You see, in truth, that which we are being urged to overcome in this time is prejudice. In recent years, the word “judgment” has come to be considered synonymous with the word “prejudice” with many, so that judgment is considered to be a “bad” thing. I want to stress to you that in these times, discernment is absolutely required in order to assure our safety. Prejudice is judgment with condemnation attached. Discernment is judgment without condemnation…..a clear assessment of the situation or person confronting us, and a realization as to whether or not that situation or person is safe or healthy for us to enter into. So I’m not telling you not to judge – in fact, I urge you to do so! These are times that call on us to be exceptionally aware at all times as people are having all kinds of wild and sometimes dangerous reactions to the energies.
Discernment/judgment simply says, “This is the way it is.” It does not condemn it, but decides whether it’s a safe or healthy situation and takes action accordingly. Judgment/condemnation, which equals prejudice, says, “This person is bad. Therefore, I must go to battle and/or punish him or her for being bad.”
A look at the September calendar on this site will show you that we are once again heading into a truly powerful internalization starting on September 6th and continuing through to September 29th. This internalization just magnifies all of the things I’ve been talking about. We’ll be seeing a lot of fires, intense storms and flooding in the month of September. And whenever the energy becomes this chaotic and intensified, there always is an increase in seismic activity, causing earthquakes.
The focus into relationship conflict that has already begun and continues to escalate through September will, at the end of the month and in the first two weeks of October, bring resolution and/or completion to many relationships.
These are challenging times we’re in. If you enjoy change - if you like adrenalin - you will love these times. If you fear change or equate change with loss or failure, you might have a difficult time. Remember…..it all boils down to attitude. As my guidance Sam says, “The situation is what you have made it. The question now is….what is going to be your attitude about it?”
The lesson is never in the event, but always in our response to the event. As these lessons in judgmentalism/condemnation/criticism continue to escalate, we will probably discover that the person we are attacking with condemnation the most is ourselves! I need to stress here that we won’t overcome our tendencies to be critical and condemning by criticizing and condemning ourselves for being critical and condemning.
The first step toward change is to shine the Light of realization upon the trait that needs changing. The second step is to admit the need for change. Say to others, “Wow – I’ve come to realize that I’ve developed a habit of criticizing and condemning. I’m determined to work on changing that.” Then, whenever you catch yourself being critical or condemning, just laugh and say, “Wow! That was a good example of my criticism habit.” Then say (out loud), “Cancel that statement.” If you didn’t say (but only thought) the criticism, then say (silently), “Cancel that thought.”
So keep your sense of humor…..keep canceling those critical thoughts…..and…..
Stay Focused on the Light....
Dixie Yeterian
