INSIGHTS
NOVEMBER 2009
Dear Friend:
I talked with you last month about the importance of working to strengthen relationships in this time, and as I’m sure you noticed, the universal energy and intention of last month brought people into your life with whom you needed to resolve issues and/or find completion. I’m always amazed at how Spirit takes us from one state of being into a completely opposite one, always with the same inherent purpose but urging us at very deep levels to approach our situations from different perspectives and thereby, ultimately heal them.
So, this month I need to revisit and then expand upon something that I’ve been telling you about for the past sixteen years. (If my memory serves me right, I began talking to you about this subject in 1993.) At that time, I told you we were entering a prolonged cycle of dramatic change in which we would experience a breakdown of our support structures (meaning, at that time, political, financial, and religious structures). Over these past sixteen years we have watched these erosions gradually happen to the extent that all of our support structures – all of the things upon which we rely for stability and security - have come under attack and been weakened. So here we are in the midst of our reactions to these events, many people feeling as though they’re just grasping onto a cloud, not able to find any solid ground beneath their feet; and living in absolute terror because they have no assurance that tomorrow is going to bring more stability than they have today.
Until recently, these aspects have played out mostly on the universal level, affecting governments, banking systems, big business and religion. Now, beginning in the month of November, the focus on this universal energy is beginning to narrow, zooming in on families, social circles and groups, work environments, church and spiritual groups, any gatherings of people who come together for mutual support.
In this time, the energies that have brought the events that created change on an enormous scope have the probability of bringing equally enormous shifts in our relationships and in our personal support structures.
I think first, I need to clarify that one of the most basic human needs is the need to feel personally empowered. The energies of these times are having the natural effect of creating a sense of powerlessness within many. When we feel powerless, we resort to deeply encoded responses that are partially learned, partially genetic, and partially the result of our internal makeup. These responses urge us into actions or reactions that have the primary intent of returning us to a sense of empowerment. All of us have one or more “empowerment tools” in our emotional toolbox, and we resort to the use of them depending on the level of threat we perceive.
We all know people who use rage to feel empowered… who attack, condemn, insult, berate, belittle, or who sometimes stomp their feet, shout, or even hit. If you’re in relationship with someone who uses rage as an empowerment tool, there’s nothing you can do to appease their anger or to keep them from getting angry because they want to get angry – they like to feel angry. They feel powerful when they are angry.
Another common empowerment tool/technique is to appear emotionally, physically, or intellectually incompetent so that others have to attend to you and take care of things for you. As I’ve frequently told my students, the most powerful person in the world is the person who appears to be fragile, because everyone has to dance to their tune in order to keep them from being distressed and in order to help them survive.
A third empowerment tool is to rule with guilt, to play the blame game. If you are in relationship with someone who rules with guilt, you are constantly told that they aren’t happy and/or are suffering in some manner, and that it’s your fault. You are probably spending all of your time and energy trying to make them happy, but there’s nothing you can do because everything you do just makes them more unhappy. The very fact of your existence makes them unhappy or causes them to suffer! You’re not going to make them happy or talk them into letting go of whatever is causing their suffering because guilt is a heavy hammer that they can wield over the heads of all around them, giving them enormous power.
I think I also need to address those who rule with non-verbal rage. Their energy is the most aggressively hostile. They walk around emoting anger, resentment, contempt – it comes out of their pores like a green slime and coats the walls of the house and forms a dense black cloud throughout their environment. If you try to get them to talk about what’s bothering them, they’ll say “Nothing. Everything in the damned world is just f’ing fine.” These people have total control of their environment, and everyone in it is held hostage by their energy. This control tool actually comes from a combination of ruling with guilt and ruling with rage. Until or unless you can convince them to talk about their issues, all you can do is try not to drown in their murky energy…..or get away from it! They won’t tell you what’s wrong because by telling you what’s wrong, they’re giving up some of their power. Once you understand what’s wrong and offer to negotiate the situation or to help find solutions, they no longer feel the energy of empowerment. They have given it up to you, so when and if they do tell you what is wrong, you are most likely going to hear about how bad you are and how you have caused them to suffer; and how every little thing you do just irritates the crap out of them.
Gee, a wonderful time we’re in, isn’t it…..?
Anyway, back to the discussion of narrowing of the focus…..I think it’s really important for us to all understand that in this time, these universal energies are focusing in on us in our personal relationships and into groups and organizations that we have formed in order to create security. And because so many are feeling disempowered in this time, they now are likely to much more frequently delve into their reservoir of “power-enhancing tools”. We are experiencing it in our families, in our work places, in our social groups, in our spiritual gatherings and classes. We’re seeing it happen everywhere. Groups that have held strong, bonded together by blood or by mutual beliefs/mutual interests, now are discovering that there are within the groups one or more persons who are feeling extremely anxious and disempowered and therefore needing to find a way to alleviate their distress. What they’re doing mostly is to scan the group and discern the person or persons within the group who may look, think, act or believe somewhat differently than they do (the thing that causes us to feel the most threatened is to be in the presence of someone who is “different”)….to decide that that person is bad, evil, stupid, incompetent, or just plain not OK…..and to focus their angst upon that person. Of course this sort of thing has been happening all along, but in the energies of these times, the person who seeks empowerment is more likely to try to establish a power base within the group by going to other members of the group/family and convincing them, also, that that person is bad, evil, stupid, incompetent, or just not OK.
The ultimate intention is to convince the group/family that this person is the enemy.
I find it interesting that almost all fanatical religious groups are built around the premise that groups of people must gather together, adopting a common ideology, and go to battle against a common foe. This common foe is usually called Satan and is embodied in any person or group of persons who are of a different faith. We’re seeing the same thing happening, now, in which groups of people are forming tight bonds based upon a common belief system and selecting a person or group of persons whom they demonize in order to strengthen their mutual bond, to give a sense of purpose to their unity, but most of all, to give them a sense of power.
If you are a teacher, an employer, a group leader, or the head of your family, you’re likely to become very frustrated in this time because you’ll feel that you can’t accomplish your goals because you’re spending all of your time going around and trying to put out the fires that are created by these anxious people. You’ll become frustrated with the pettiness of it all. In fact, it really just boils down to school-yard politics, unfortunately played out at a more adult level, thereby much more potentially damaging, as these attacks upon the “different one” are generally intended to separate that person from the group by discrediting them.
All of us will be affected by these energies and be having experiences of these types during the coming months as these amazing energies continue to intensify. It is our task, as individuals, to stay alert, to deal with our anxieties/fears in a manner that addresses the situation rather than attacks another person. I’m not going to tell you that you should entirely stay out of the fray, because if you are the person who is deemed to be the threat, then you will, in fact, be threatened and you should be aware of that fact. So I’m going to urge you, now, that if you find yourself being on the receiving end of this aggressive, anxious energy, what you must do is speak to the situation immediately. For instance, if you are in a group of people and you can feel or begin to know in any way that a person or group of persons are directing hostility toward you, no matter how scary it is, you must stand strong for your own value and speak to the situation, simply saying: “When you did or said _______, I interpreted that to mean ______, and I, as a result, feel ________.” By making such a statement, you’re not being accusatory or aggressively hostile – you’re simply bringing the truth to light and leaving it up to them to explain their behavior or attitudes toward you. You will never make the situation better by pretending it’s not happening.
If you find yourself becoming anxious and feel the need to gather “allies” to form a support group in protection against a perceived threat, then I strongly urge you to go into your fear, discover what it is that is frightening, and ask yourself what it is about that person that you are interpreting to mean that that person is somehow or other a threat to you.
It is our task in this time to strive to live in absolute integrity. Living in absolute integrity requires that we assess our situations and find our responsibility in the situation. By doing so, we will pull ourselves out of the survival urge that causes us to want to play the blame-game; but most importantly, by recognizing our responsibility in the situation, we reclaim our power. It is only from knowing what we have done to cause the situation that we can then be shown what we need to do to improve it. You may ask, now…..“What if I haven’t done anything? What if I, in truth, have no responsibility in this situation?” Then I must respond to you that it is your life, it is spiritually about you and the situations you bring to yourself, and learning to respond to those situations in integrity.
So, even if we “haven’t done anything”, we still have a responsibility, and that responsibility is to assess the situation, discern the underlying attitudes or actions that have brought the situation about, ask the persons involved what it is that they are reacting to in us, and strive to be active in bringing a healing to the situation rather than sitting back and believing that we are victims. As soon as we ask Spirit to give us clarity and direction….and then take the action that Spirit urges us to….Spirit can and will flow through and heal the situation.
Very few of us are going through life wanting or needing to be hurtful to others. In fact, we’re all just doing the best we can in every situation with whatever we have to work with. Sometimes we don’t have a lot to work with, and sometimes we don’t work with it very well….but we’re doing the best we can. And the one thing that will bring us through this time with strength and honor is to just know that about each other and about ourselves, and to give compassion rather than generating rage….for rage isn’t really powerful, but compassion is. Rage originates from our fears. Compassion flows from Spirit, and in Spirit there is power... true power.
The month of November continues to be very intense, chaotic energy. People will be very easily irritated or frustrated. We can expect some really intense weather coming in toward the end of the month and continuing through April throughout the world. We still have the really strong aspects in place for fires, so take extra precautions. Every time we turn on the news or read our emails, we’re going to be seeing people spouting separatism and rage.
One of the manifestations of this consolidation of energy is a powerful sense of patriotism. We’re experiencing this in the United States now; however, it’s important to know that these aspects around patriotic fervor are universal and are experienced throughout the world, which again brings separatism and consolidation into groups of people of like-thinking, who perceive all others to be a threat. So these are really interesting times we’re living in.
The one really lovely thing that I’m seeing is in the midst of this, people will be having a tremendous desire to reach out and to share joy with each other. These aspects for the need to share joy continue through about the next eight or nine months. So we’re entering into a really social time, a time in which there will be more social activity, more of an urge to get out and be with people….more films and books written that charm us, that bring laughter and pleasure. And I can’t urge you strongly enough to just soak it all up! Draw upon this lovely energy, and try to stay in it.
I pray that you bring your family and friends close as we enter this holiday season. Hold tight to them, and make yourself a promise that you won’t allow any situation or person to divide and conquer.
Stay Focused on the Light....
Dixie Yeterian