INSIGHTS
FEBRUARY 2010

Dear Friend:

Even though the month of February (as indicated on the calendar on this site) looks like a pretty clear, uneventful time, it isn’t. There’s just so much happening in the world and in our personal lives. This is a good time to make changes – to send out your resumes, to consider making the moves you’ve been wanting to make, to buy a house or a car or start a new business venture. It’s a good time to effect the kinds of changes that you may have been putting off because of the feeling of uncertainty and insecurity that has been affecting almost everyone for the past year.

The one thing I do want you to know is that all through the month of February, and through most of March, you can expect to be feeling a sense of urgency….a feeling that you have to hurry up, that you need to get out and live your life, to make things happen, that things have to be done really fast. And I really want you to understand that these times will be filled with powerful dramas that can totally engage you and will cause many to feel as though everything of value in their lives is at risk….that they’ve lost control….that the situation they’re in can’t be fixed or can’t be improved - it’s all hopeless. also, to the other extreme, this sense of urgency may cause you to feel that you have to hurry up and take action, that you could lose opportunities if you don’t make decisions and sign on the dotted line right now. The energy of this time is dramatic and rapid-paced. We can feel peaceful, joyful, even ecstatic in one moment, then suddenly fall into absolute despair. Then, voila, we’re back to feeling peaceful, joyful, and/or ecstatic.

I spend a lot of time teaching my students to listen to their inner self rather than allowing their minds to rule. However, in this time, I’m going to urge you to listen to your inner self, then bring your mind into play enough to remember that all of these dramas will pass through your life rapidly. Some of the dramas will be yours personally, and others will be the result of you becoming invested in the chaotic events of another person’s experience. Either way, you have to be careful in this time because you could be compelled through this sense of urgency to take action or to say things that could worsen a situation, prolong a situation, or even cause it to blow up and become irresolvable. You could try to help and end up being blamed for interfering (or, someone could even end up believing that you were the cause of their problem to begin with!). In most cases, I would counsel you to remain as detached as possible. Just step back and observe….and learn. These situations will almost always come to resolution regardless of what we do or don’t do.

Also, I urge you to bring your mind into assessment enough to realize that the sense of urgency you’re feeling isn’t real. You are not likely to lose the opportunity if you don’t sign on the dotted line at this very moment. Take time. Assess your options. Ask Spirit to direct you. Don’t jump at the first thing that comes your way. Don’t let yourself be driven by the fear that results from this universal sense of urgency. I want you to remember that the month of February is one of the best months in the year 2010 to create changes for yourself. The only difficulty in this month is the universal sense of fear that is being interpreted by many as a sense of urgency and causing them to act before they think. I’m finding this letter very hard to write because I’ve spent so many years training people to respond to what they feel/know rather than to what their mind tells them or what the facts would appear to be. So my advice in this time is in total opposition to the teachings of my lifetime. I can’t stress strongly enough that I do want you to pause, pray, meditate, ask for spiritual guidance and direction, and then take action. Just don’t let yourself mistake the anxiety you feel (which is the result of this terror that is invading universal energies) be misinterpreted as psychic perception or as spiritual urgings. All I would ask you to do is pause, meditate, pray so that you are certain that you know the source of your urgings. This is the time in which it would be very easy to take actions that would have long-term and even life-changing consequences that could bring a lifetime of regret.

The universal fear that everyone is feeling can make situations look very different than they actually are. For instance, if you are searching for a job and one is offered to you that doesn’t fully meet your needs, that may not be a “good fit” for you, but you feel that you have to take it because if you don’t accept the job today, they will probably give it to someone else and then you could go another six months being jobless, etc. I urge you to remember that in this time, opportunities will present themselves. You don’t have to jump at the very first thing. You especially don’t have to jump at it or commit to it if it doesn’t feel right. Just remember to call on Spirit, ask to be urged into the direction you need to go to find that which would fill your needs, and take action when you get that nudge from Spirit that says, “Oh, yes….This is the right one.”

Any time we go through the aspects such as I’m seeing for the month of February (and early March), I always receive numerous phone calls and emails from people who are in great despair, telling me that their marriages, their relationships, their jobs, their lives are flying apart….that their loved one wants a divorce, that they just can’t work it out, that they know they’re going to get fired, that their best friend isn’t speaking to them, etc., etc., etc. In these times, they are always absolutely certain that there is no resolution. The aspects of this time affect all of our relationships: relationships with co-workers, between parents and children, between friends, and most dramatically, relationships between husbands/wives and ex lovers or mates. Sibling relationships are affected also, but not as dramatically. There can be some really powerful disputes that would have the possibility of creating permanent rifts if you don’t just step back, take a deep breath, and ask Spirit to intervene - to bring healing and clarity to the situation.

I do want to stress that almost always, the blow-ups that occur during these particular aspects usually fade away within a few days and although we may not entirely resolve our differences during them, we almost always learn a little bit more about ourselves and the other people involved. These events are usually spiritual opportunities to peel away layers of resentment, anger and mistrust that separate us from those who would want to love us. We can only take these life lessons in small doses, so Spirit doesn’t hold our fingers to the fire for very long. In a few days, or even a few hours, we find ourselves having returned to a state of peace and willingness to compromise.

These intensifications that affect relationships so powerfully benefit us greatly in the long run, as they have the spiritual intent of clarifying and clearing old resentments, misunderstandings, all kinds of pain. Unless we’re really evolved and consciously working at spiritual and emotional clearing, we don’t usually completely heal a relationship as a result of one of these explosive times. It usually takes us a whole bunch of them. But each time we speak our truths and allow our pain to be expressed and our anger to be released verbally to the extent that we’ve said it all, it has the effect of bringing some healing to the situation. It’s probably not entirely healed and it will scab over and then fester up and explode again at a later date, and you’ll keep saying, “Why do we keep coming back to the same issues over and over again?” It’s the habit of some people to run away whenever the pain surfaces, and just end the relationship with a sharp slice, walking away convinced that it’s all the other person’s behaviors, attitudes or issues that are causing whatever the situation is.

But the one thing that the energies of this time really work on to teach us is that when a situation keeps happening over and over and over again, or when people keep telling us the same things over and over and over again, it’s not about them – it’s about us. And we need to look to ourselves to see what we're  doing – what energy we’re putting out, how we’re reflecting ourselves into the world and into our relationships. For instance, if we are presenting ourselves to the world as weak and vulnerable to victimization, or feeling unworthy and therefore deserving of victimization, we will attract victimizers. And it’s an amazing thing that happens….usually the person who becomes our victimizer in these situations doesn’t want to BE that. But the energy that is being exuded by the “victim” personality just creates situations that can be interpreted as victimization. If you have ever been in a relationship with a “victim” personality, you know that no matter how hard you try to be compassionate, caring, considerate, validating, to say and do all the right things with them, that you are going to be interpreted by them as lacking compassion, of invalidating them, of being uncaring, unsupportive, or inconsiderate. You see, it is about the person who is feeling victimized. If they perceive themselves as a “victim”, then everything and every person in the world will be seen as potential victimizers, and those dramas will be created.

All of us in these times will find ourselves caught up in the midst of difficult situations that result from a person believing that they are being victimized/attacked/intentionally hurt by another. In most cases, the accused “victimizer” is bowled over by astonishment that the “victim” could have possibly interpreted their actions or words to be cruel in their intent. For example, I witnessed the end of a relationship when a husband offered to help his wife clean the kitchen (she had been complaining that she was exhausted, and he wanted to help her). Her interpretation of his offer was that he was telling her that she didn’t clean the kitchen right, so that he had to take over to show her how to clean, that he thought she was stupid and incompetent, and that he was intentionally trying to humiliate her in my presence by making “an issue” of her supposed incompetence and stupidity. As is always true in these events, there was nothing that he could say or do to convince her that he was not trying to be intentionally hurtful. I’m giving you this example so that you can realize that if you’re in relationship with a person who perceives themselves as a victim, there is absolutely no way to be in that relationship without having occasions happen in which they feel victimized by you. And to your astonishment, they will often feel victimized the most when you are trying your hardest to be loving, compassionate, helpful, etc

I’ve been telling you for the past several months that the spiritual energy of this time brings us situations intended to help us learn compassion. There’s a shift happening now that is magnifying the energies of the “victim/victimizer” relationship, and that shift is the reason that we are continuing to have the lessons that are intended to teach us to become truly compassionate. It is also the reason that we are having these powerful energies that are entering, that are commanding us to learn discernment and self-validation. And wow- these aspects are having some powerful effects! I can’t even begin to tell you the number of people who have said to me in the past weeks that they are considering ending relationships because they are perceiving themselves as being potentially victimized. In some cases, it’s not even because they have felt attacked, but they are ending the relationship because something was said or done that gave them reason to believe that they could possibly be attacked and/or victimized by this person whom just yesterday, they thought was the kindest, most wonderful person in the world. Once again….Wow! This is really a powerful thing that’s happening!!

The sense of urgency that I’m talking about will call many people to say, “OK, I’m done,” and walk away….but then a day or two later, most of them will begin to soften and to fear that they made a mistake and strive to reconcile. But they still probably are not going to give up their belief that the other person is intentionally victimizing them. I need to say here that if you believe that someone is victimizing you, you must then have within you a belief that they have the true desire to hurt you. So, if you are in this situation, instead of blowing up and accusing them/telling them that they are always inconsiderate, that they are alwyas insulting, that they are always thoughtless….whatever….you can save a lot of pain if you simply ask them, “When you said/did that, did you intend to hurt me?” If their answer is yes, then you need to ask them, “What has been happening in our relationship that is causing you to want to hurt me?” If in fact they are wanting to hurt you, you have some real work to do and you have the serious need to consider whether or not you should be in this relationship. However, if their answer is, “No, I’m not trying to hurt you – I’m trying to get you to HEAR me,” then I would strongly urge you to pull back from your belief that they are assaulting you and listen to them – then strive to come to resolution.

Most of the time, when we feel victimized, it’s because we interpret another person’s expression of pain and/or need for change as an attack upon our being. Very seldom are they intending to attack us. Most of the time they’re telling us that they are hurting and that they need us to care that they are hurting. Validation of their pain and discussion of alternatives and ways in which you can cooperate with each other or work together to resolve the situation can bring great healing to the relationship. But even more importantly, it can bring great healing to your soul.

The person who believes that they are a “victim” suffers great pain, for they in truth believe that they are unloved, uncared for, and that other people want to hurt them. Their belief that other people are deliberately cruel causes everyone around them to feel as though they have to walk on tippy-toes to keep from upsetting or hurting the feelings of the “victim”. They feel that they can never speak their truths to the “victim” because the “victim” is soooooooo sensitive. All the “victim” is doing by their behavior is begging to be loved. However, their beliefs and resulting actions push away from them everyone who would desire to be close, because in order to be in a close relationship with a “victim”, you must then come to believe that there is nothing that you can do or say that is right, that no matter how hard you try, you’re going to end up hurting someone and therefore (if you take this to the lowest common denominator), you must believe that you are a worthless piece of crap who just hurts everyone you love.

The partners and children of “victims” learn to say, “I’m sorry” very early on, and they say “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” like a mantra, constantly apologizing for everything they do and say as though their existence in this world is an offense. I’m speaking so strongly to this situation because it’s the lesson we are working on in this time and because this relationship dynamic is the one that I find to be most prevalent and the most destructive right now. We really, really, really have the responsibility as souls to come to Harmony in this time. In order to come to Harmony, we must come to Trust. The victim/victimizer relationship model does not allow trust. In fact, it serves to break it down rapidly – trust in the world, trust in each other, and trust in self.

The “victim” personality rules with guilt. Everyone around them has to feel guilty. Guilt always comes to pain, and pain is always expressed in anger. So, we will need to assess ourselves at this time and be aware of when we have fallen into the “victim” or “victimizer” role. Some people take one role and live it throughout their lives, but all of us from time to time find ourselves falling into the “victim” mode or the “victimizer” mode. When we catch ourselves at it, we’re usually pretty shocked. The most evolved soul is usually capable of pulling out of it fairly rapidly, but even the most evolved souls are going to be touched by events that are the results of the beliefs and attitudes that lead to the victim/victimizer energy, because it’s these energies that are at the root of the discord, distrust, hatred and conflict that are tearing at the world at this time.

We have the responsibility in our personal lives to recognize the behaviors and attitudes when WE’RE doing them, and to withdraw and refuse to enter into the battle of accusations and defensiveness that result from being in relationship with another person who is in “victimizer” energy. My recommendation is don’t walk on eggshells around them. Stop being afraid of hurting their sensitive feelings (the most powerful person in the world is the person who appears to be weak – they rule!). Speak your truths, then step back and let them have whatever response or reaction they want to have to your speaking of your truth. Don’t enter into a debate with them. Don’t try to explain or justify yourself with them. Just say to them, “I’m sorry that you’ve misinterpreted me. I’m going to come back again later and say this to you again, hoping that you will hear me and care about what I am saying/feeling….and that you will have assessed the situation by that time enough to realize that I have nothing in me that would have the intention of trying to harm or hurt you. I’m simply trying to bring understanding and resolution to this situation.” Then walk away. If you do this enough times, they WILL catch on. It takes two people to play the game of victim/victimizer. If one person stops playing the game, the other one can’t continue.

Another thing that is already happening and going to happen even more so through this month is….you can expect to have some amazing dreams! Many people are having dreams in which they are in communication with the wise old man, the “father” (who isn’t their father in this life), the wise old lady, the person who is in a position of authority….all of these dreams are dreams in which Spirit is speaking to us and giving us information, guidance, sometimes warning. Pay extra attention to these dreams. Most of our dreams are going to be revealing to us the state of our being. I call these “status report dreams”. These can be dreams in which you’re looking through your house and discovering areas that need to be cleaned or decluttered….or driving down a road and realizing that you’re on the wrong road and that you need to take a different path – or sometimes realizing that you’re lost and that you don’t know where you’re going, or having a feeling that there’s somewhere important you need to go but you don’t know how to get there. If you have these dreams, you really need to take some time in meditation and prayer and ask for guidance.

The intensification of the energies of these times will magnify our dreams at the same time that they have the effect of thinning out the Veil that creates the division between our dimension and other dimensions. So you can expect to have some pretty amazing experiences during this time. You can expect to be looking at a tree or a person or an animal and suddenly see light or color glowing around them. You can expect to think of someone that you haven’t heard from in years, and the phone rings and it’s them calling. You can expect to have precognition, to know about things before they happen, to have very strong feelings/knowings. You can expect to be alone and hear someone call your name. Or sometimes, you can hear a conversation between two or more people, but not be able to make out what they’re saying. You can expect to see souls existing in the next plane in your peripheral vision (and then when you turn to look at them, they disappear). But most importantly, I think, in this time…..you’ll have a greater awareness of the closeness of Spirit and a deep inner Call to be in communication with Spirit that has the potential to dramatically change and improve the quality of your experience in this dimension…..to know that you are never alone but always have available to you loving support and companionship (whenever you remember to ask for it).

The further we move into the energies of this time – February and March – the more you’re going to have the urge to get up and go someplace. Most of us have been hibernating for awhile, as is typical of winter nesting. However, in this time, there is a natural urge to get out, to be around people, to communicate with people, to write letters, to call upon friends whom you’ve neglected. And most of us have been neglecting our relationships. The energy of the past few months has caused us to internalize and to hide in our safe spaces.

The crazy weather we’ve been experiencing will continue. Actually, it’s going to continue through February, March and April. So as I’ve said before, be prepared for all things. In addition to crazy weather, we’re going to be seeing continued escalation of hostilities and attacks and attempted terrorist attacks. We will see rapid escalation of hostilities between the United States, North Korea and China. Many of the events that could lead us toward this war are not yet being revealed in our news. (If you want to know more about the goings on in the world that are creating the events that I’m talking about, then read or listen to European and British, news rather than depending upon American news sources, as critical information is being withheld by them.)

We can use this time to really benefit ourselves if we just don’t allow ourselves to get immersed in the dramas, whether they be our own or other people’s. In fact, I recommend that you don’t even believe the drama most of the time because they will have resolved themselves, just poof– disappeared into thin air within 48 hours, and there you are, still upset, while other people have gone on and seem to have forgotten about them. Use this time. Let this energy that urges change move you to create the changes that you have been wanting, that you have been planning for. This is the time to take well thought-out action. Keep reminding yourself, as you go through this, that other people are caught up in the dramas. They won’t be thinking clearly. They’ll be easily confused, often forgetful, and so immersed in whatever conflicts they’ve created for themselves that they may not be able to be responsive to you. So don’t let yourself get too distressed if the guy at the check-out counter is surly, or when the customer service representative acts like you’re an idiot who doesn’t deserve their attention. And really, really don’t let yourself get pulled into victim energy or to buy into victim energy. It can really create difficulties for you in this time. If you find yourself with one of these events occurring, deal with it immediately and in a positive manner, speaking to the situation immediately. “When you said/did that, did you intend to hurt me?” Remember this technique. It can make a big difference in your life, especially during the month of February and most of March.

Stay Focused on the Light....          

Dixie Yeterian