IN IT TOGETHER
SEPTEMBER 2014

Hello Everyone...

As August draws to a close, and I sit here reflecting on the past month, what my month involved was dramatic evidence of the thing Dixie had mentioned some months ago about one of the things going on in this time, and that is an increase in the ending of relationships. Though I wasn’t directly involved in any endings in my own relationships, I was definitely a witness to the dissolution of several long-standing ones……so what I want to talk about in this month’s newsletter is more about that as well as how we help our loved ones and ourselves get through the heartbreak of endings, whether it be via dissolution of a friendship, marriage, family, or the loss of a job, security, our homes…..whatever it might be.

We’re programmed in our society to believe that when something ends, it’s synonymous with failure. I remember in the mid sixties, a couple whom my parents knew decided to divorce. There were shocked reactions and even a sense of scandal associated with their “failed marriage”. We were embarrassed to even talk about it. People just didn’t DO that - it went against the rule of “’til death do us part” in those days. However (and this is something Dixie noted once at a workshop), as we approach the end of this corridor, “time” is literally speeding up. What used to take a lifetime of working out our karma with another (because life’s pace was slower)…..now, because of the speeding up of “time” and the increased intensity of our experiences, we are working our way through karma at a greater rate as we line up to take our exit exams from this corridor. That’s one of the reasons we’re seeing such an increase in our divorce rate – assuredly, it’s not the only reason, but it is (for me) a major reason.

As I’ve mentioned before, I believe that each of us comes into this dimension with an intended curriculum in place, which includes being with particular souls through the course of our lives. This may be in the work environment, in a family unit, in a love relationship, in a friendship. We make these soul agreements to meet up with each other so that we can work out any conflict we have had with each other, or perhaps to support and offer ongoing love to each other, maybe to perform a Spiritual task together, such as finding the cure to cancer or forming a metaphysical foundation – it could be for any number of reasons that we make these “dates” to spend part or all of our lives together with another soul. Sometimes we “sign up” to spend our entire lives with another person, most often in a parent/child relationship so that we are given ample time TO work out conflict; sometimes we sign up to spend only a brief bit of time (relatively speaking) with each other. We make our plans with each other at the Soul level and then proceed to meet up in life and do our dance together according to our Soul agreements. Sometimes we successfully heal our conflicts and sometimes we don’t. (As a side note and according to Dixie, the ones we experience the most conflict with are the ones who love us the most at the Soul level – and if you think about it, that makes perfect sense; it seems to be the way of humankind that we grow the most through conflict and pain.)

Though we can look at our world these days and believe everything is going to hell in a hand basket, I want to remind us all again that we don’t know what another Soul’s curriculum is. What may appear to US to be a tragedy or dangerous or selfish or foolish (or any number of possibilities) might well be exactly correct for a particular Soul’s curriculum. If we have other souls waiting on our dance card or other experiences we need to have, we come to a point in our lives where we know (oftentimes without knowing that we know) it’s time to end our current experience/situation in order to allow for the next relationship or situation to arrive. (I talked last month about needing to insure first in every part of our being that we truly know it IS time to leave a relationship or a situation before we do so – that is absolutely a requirement so that we can know we were as “clean” as possible in bringing about the ending. Otherwise, we carry guilt, a murky emotion to have to carry.)

A close friend of mine recently made the decision to leave her marriage. I heard a number of fears projected onto her (shoot, I projected a few of my own before I remembered this was HER experience and not mine)…..I heard a few judgments regarding her actions. I heard misinterpretations of her intentions. I was happy to see that her inner strength rejected others’ opinions…..she was doing what she knew she had to do in order to continue on the path her Soul needed to follow in order to grow, though it was an agonizing decision for her and one that didn’t happen overnight. Her truest friends understood she was in the process of completing her relationship and gathered around her to aid in whatever way they could……ultimately, the greatest aid they gave her was their compassion and constant love. It was an excellent example, for me, of the reason we’re all here – to HELP each other get through it, whatever “it” might be…..without judgment, without anger, without recrimination…..allowing for Grace to be the guiding factor.

If you’re a regular visit to this site, you’re probably one whose heart can and does love deeply. I make that assumption based on the my own experience with people who are seeking to know Spirit at a deeper level, who are avatars to ushering in this new age and who are dedicated to being “caretakers” to their friends and family. I’m not speaking of physical caretaking itself (though I know many of us are in that role), but more about emotional caretaking and helping friends and family members get through their lives in whatever way we can…..because when we truly love, we WANT to be there for each other and give the best of ourselves. We listen and have compassion for each other’s trials and tribulations. We offer advice when appropriate and we remain detached from their ultimate choices. We offer our aid as we can in helping them get through their day to day lives. We cook for them, we clean for them, we do child care for them, we run their errands, we laugh with them, we cry with them, we offer encouragement, we pick up our phones and call them to let them know we’re thinking of them. We do what we can to help those we love, and most of the people I know do it with one hundred percent of their Beings.

AND, because we DO give one hundred percent of our Beings, it’s important to remember that though we can literally be filled in our souls when we help another get through their challenges – to the point of feeling almost “high” from the satisfaction of knowing we truly were of aid - what goes up must come down. And so we need to make sure in these incredibly challenging times that we don’t let ourselves become exhausted from the ongoing intensity of another’s major life transition. We can be there for them in any and all ways that we are compelled to be there for them…..but we also need to make sure that WE remain in balance in our own energy and not let their anguish and travails overwhelm us to the point where we get lost in their “story”.

Again, we eat live food and drink plenty of water and get enough rest and take our vitamins and do whatever we have to do to stay in balance. If that includes saying, “No, I can’t do it today – if I don’t rest/take some time for me, I’ll be no good for you or anyone,” then say it. Because the truth is, we aren’t bad or selfish or uncaring when we have to withdraw from an ongoing intensity. We’re actually being loving in speaking our truth and in knowing where we are in our own energy levels so that we can pace ourselves for the long run. Even though it’s SO hard sometimes to say “no”, we’re not serving anyone to forge on ahead when our energy is depleted…..and if you can’t say it for YOU, say it for Spirit’s sake, because Spirit needs us all in these times. We can be of no aid to them if we’re depleted in our Beings.

I have mentioned the specific ending of marriages in this newsletter because it’s in my life right now, but there are SO many other types of endings going on these days. Many of us are suddenly without jobs. Many of us are suddenly without our health. Many of us are experiencing the loss of family members who have decided they’re “done” with the family and have walked away. Many of us have had to bury our beloveds. There are heartbreaks all around us; life is marching along and taking us all with it whether we want to go or not. And WE are being called on as never before by Spirit to be there for each other…..to try to remain calm in the midst of all the emotional storms swirling around us - to listen, to care, to offer a shoulder to cry on…..to be free of the fear that something is wrong, because the minute we go into fear, Spirit’s ability to aid us is greatly curtailed.

There are many “tragedies” being played out on the world’s stage, but remember…..each soul has its own curriculum that it is following; none of us are victims to anything except by our belief that we are. We planned our lives before we were born. We agreed to go through all these experiences we go through, as agonizing or horrific as some of them are. Spirit IS in charge, though knowing that that doesn’t always make it easier. There are days when I have to constantly remind myself of two things: “There’s Purpose in all things” (for the gazillionth time) and “This too shall pass.” As trite as both of those expressions might be, for me they are incredible balms to my Soul.

Hold on to your Spirit...        
Marty 

PS: Again, thank you all for your ongoing prayers for Dixie’s health. She continues to rest in an effort to heal…..I know she misses writing to you each month as much as YOU miss hearing from her. THANK you all for keeping her in your prayers.