IN IT TOGETHER
DECEMBER 2015


Well Hello Everyone....
Well, one holiday down and one more to go - it was a wonderful time for me for certain - hope your Thanksgiving was also beautifully delicious!
One of the major things that I've noticed lately (and as Dixie mentioned on her November calendar) is that people are really quick to take offense, feeling as though they're being insulted or attacked.....and of course, emotional explosions often happen when something is taken the wrong way. I've witnessed a few such explosions, and because I wasn't directly IN those explosions, it was easy for me to "see it coming" as reactions and buttons got pushed. As is normal for most of us, being the humans we are, we get broadsided by strong reactions and are quick to fire right back and before we know it, we're in a fight with the very people we love the most.
It's ALWAYS good to speak our truths as long as we can do so without blasting whomever we're in relationship with so that they ultimately do feel attacked by the words that come spewing out of us in our pain as we speak in response to our hurt . It's our nature to want to explain, justify and defend as we ultimately seek to be HEARD, and sometimes the only way it seems we can be heard is to yell. And once the yelling starts, things can get quickly out of hand so that we end up feeling mortified and/or hurt by some of the words that were said in the reactive energy that we're all subject to in the energy of these times. (And as a reminder, the quickest way to get back in balance with each other is to make a heartfelt apology and hopefully get to the place where we can laugh with each other at how angry we were in that moment when we exploded.)
I know that sometimes, we just HAVE to fight it out with each other. It's like a purging, an emotional vomiting session (pardon me) that WILL eventually leave us feeling better, just like we feel better when we quit trying to "hold it in" and physically allow ourselves to throw up. However, because there's that particular aspect going on right now that causes people to feel deeply hurt, some words can be spoken that go straight to our hearts and that are hard to forget. We carry that hurt around in our minds and in our hearts and distance ourselves from each other for awhile....and again, that's OK AS long as we don't go so far away from each other in our distancing so as to make it impossible to mend the hurt.
I know Dixie mentioned sometime in the past few months that one of the aspects we're in right now has to do with family relationships. We're in a time where we can heal our discord with family members....OR.....we can drive such a deep wedge between us that healing is impossible to accomplish. So with that in mind, and in the explosive energy of these times, it's an excellent time to count to ten before replying to someone's comment that hurts our feelings, if we can rein in our words before they explode out of us.....and to count to ten before we brush off THEIR feelings as insubstantial or not based on any truth whatsoever, because of course when we feel brushed off and/or invalidated for the feelings we have, communication stops right there.
We need to practice discernment like never before, because right now timing is everything. We can say something that we hope another will hear because we can see that they're in the space to hear and we can have a rationale and nonreactive exchange of ideas. But to simply throw in our two cents' worth on any given issue without first recognizing where a person is in their emotional or mental state of Being can be the same as waving a red flag in front of a bull. In this energy, something that wasn't at all intended to be inflammatory can very easily end up being just that for someone, and dangerous emotional explosions (which can lead into physical harm) can occur and ARE occurring - our news tells us that countless times a day.
More than ever, it's SO important to take the time to discern where another person is before we enter into any kind of exchange - even a seemingly innocuous one. If we discern that they (or even our own selves) are in a place where there's a strong need to be right or someone's "just cruisin'" for an argument (or whatever) so that a non-reactive exchange of ideas is impossible.....then we need to bite our tongues and wait to have that conversation another time.....just seems like a smart thing to do right now.
IN addition to our relationship challenges (for those of us who have them), we've got the challenges that come in the form of the strong disagreements going on among the polarized political and religious factions....the social issues.....the moral issues. Especially in this time of easily feeling insulted and/or attacked for our viewpoints, being aware of where another person is in their emotional state would be wise, to say the least. Again, counting to ten is a good thing to do before we wade into any kind of potentially explosive conversation (such as who would be the best next president of the United States or what's the best course of action as regards immigration, climate change, etc.). AND....beyond counting to ten, one of the things that has saved me lately is remembering the words to the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 
The courage to change the things I can, 
And the wisdom to know the difference
There are some things I know I cannot change. For instance, I can't change mankind's need to experience conflict because a lot of souls are here in this time TO experience conflict as part of their soul's particular Curriculum (and I certainly can't change another's Curriculum, though I'll never stop praying for Peace or keeping Compassion for another's experiences in my heart, not to mention offering a helping hand when I can). It's an ongoing challenge to be in this world but not of it when so many souls are having to experience incredible horrors. But beyond keeping a prayer going, some things are simply going to be and there isn't much we can do about it....UNLESS our Soul is urging us to actively be involved in an issue/event so that we are compelled to fly to a war zone to be of aid, or join the Peace Corp, or volunteer at a homeless shelter - whatever it might be. Because if our Soul is urging us and urging us to do something in particular, without letting up on the urge, then chances are, that IS what we're supposed to do and God grant us the Courage to do so. And in the same vein, if our Soul is urging us toward anything - a relationship, a new city, a new job - then grant us the Courage to do so so that we can be a part of creating the necessary change in our own lives for our Soul's growth.
Indeed.....if we can accept the things we cannot change, and have the courage to change the things that we can.......ahhhhhhh, peace of mind is that much closer for us. Intellectually that's an easy one to "get".....and not always so easy to adhere to emotionally when reactive energy and fear of change keeps us in such a state that we forget the simple Truth contained in the Serenity Prayer. SO....I'm doing the best I can to keep that Prayer in mind particularly in these times. It helps me to center and allows me to find a measure of peace. Maybe it's something that will aid you as well - Spirit needs as many of us as possible to live with peace of mind!!!
And enough of all that......
I hope the upcoming holiday fills each of us with so much Goodness and Love that it spills out of us and into this beautiful world of ours, adding to the Light that already Is.... 
Merry Christmas....Happy Hanukkah....Happy/Merry whatever it is you call this time of year - may it be all you want it to be for you and yours....
Hold on to your Spirit...        
Marty